Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just threw up on my dentist
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
