dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
