This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
