please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
