I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
