Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
50% drunk capacity currently
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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