worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
