The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
