Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
