Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
