I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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