Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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