I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
