Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
