Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
