i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
