So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
