don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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