have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
