when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
