Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They should really pass out barf bags in church
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
