We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
