I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
