Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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