Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
