I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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