Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
