i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Randomize
