some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
