I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
