The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
