I puked a lego.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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