We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
