remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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