Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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