I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
