if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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