I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The adults are the big ones right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
