I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
