I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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