im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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