I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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