somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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