I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
