we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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