it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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