you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
