Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
