Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
