you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
