I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
