next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
